The
Wired Press' Tribute to SatireWire
Saturday,
September 28, 2002
POLICE MUST NOTIFY RESIDENTS WHEN
CATHOLIC CHURCH MOVES INTO NEIGHBORHOOD
Controversial "Egan's Law"
Expected to Gain Widespread Support
Trenton,
N.J. (SatireWire.com) — Under a new law designed to
protect minors, local police departments will now be required
to inform residents any time a known Roman Catholic church
moves into their neighborhood.
New
Jersey State Senate debating Egan's Law |
The
law also mandates that Catholic churches register with authorities,
wear electronic monitoring devices, and be prohibited from
moving to within a half-mile radius of a school.
A
follow-up to Megan's Law, enacted by New Jersey in 1994, the
so-called "Egan's Law" is named for Cardinal Edward
Egan of New York and Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston, who are
both accused of covering up sexual abuse by priests under
their authority. Like Megan's Law, Egan's Law is expected
to spread quickly to other states, but for parents in towns
across New Jersey, it's on the books none too soon.
"Last
year, we discovered that a Catholic Church had been in our
neighborhood for 30 years! And nobody told us!" said
Ruth Harper of Redbrook, N.J. "My sons used to walk by
that church every day on their way to school. Even now I shudder
to think of what might have happened."
"I
always told my kids to steer clear of that place," added
neighbor Scott Carlyle. "But that's because there were
a lot of strange people going in and out at odd hours, even
at midnight on Saturdays. I was worried it was some kind of
druggie hangout.
"To
think the whole time it was a Roman Catholic Church. Now I
know why they had all those stained glass windows —.
so nobody could look in."
Critics,
however, charge that Egan's Law is unconstitutional, specifically
because it relies on religious profiling and is intended to
safeguard only one segment of the population: young males. But
State Sen. Carmela Truto, a Catholic who co-sponsored the bill,
used church doctrine itself to prove only one segment needs
protection.
"In
the Catholic Church, after 2,000 years, Mary is still a Virgin,"
she said. "So clearly, they're not interested in girls."
That
statement, however, angered Vatican spokesman Edgar Palowski,
who said it propagated a common misconception about the church.
"This doesn't get reported enough," he said, "but
it's a fact that our priests abuse just as many girls as boys."
"Oh.
Oh dear..." he added.
Copyright © 2002,
SatireWire.
Reprinted
by permission as part of a multi-site internet tribute to
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