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the Wired Press > Archives

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Bremer’s off color speech nearly derails Iraqi constitutional talks

- Blix Panda

Leaked comments from an impromptu speech given by U.S. overseer in Iraq, Paul Bremer, ten days ago at a private luncheon for government contractors, roiled Shiite leaders to the point of nearly halting negotiations over Iraq’s recently completed constitution.

Aides close to Bremer claim that it was an informal luncheon and his comments at no time jeopardized the outcome of what were often described by insiders as already “tense” negotiations. “It was just good fun between Mr. Bremer and some close friends,” said a spokesman for Bremer looking back on the event. “We regret that his comments were taken the wrong way.”

Referring to Shiite leader Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani’s often hard line negotiation tactics, Bremer quipped to his lunchtime guests that, “Sistani is giving me a real headache over a lot of this. At one point last week I looked across the table and said ‘hey, Sistani, if you don’t care for what we are offering sir, well tough Shiite.”

Other lines from the short speech included:

- “We had some trouble with the AC late one afternoon, I mean it was really cooking in there, we were sweating like pigs. So I lean over to Bob Smith from State and I say, ‘geez, you know, the Baath Party doesn’t sound so bad after all.”

- “I wanted to lighten thing up by bringing gifts for the Iraqi negotiation team. That went over well. Until the guys opened the boxes. They were Remington electric razors. How could I know they would be so upset?”

- “Sistani. You gotta love that guy. He is actually quite playful, you know. I asked him if he participated in any of the typical student pranks when he was back in school. He pulled me to the side and said that one time he once secretly shredded pork rinds into his roommate’s lunch. He said that the poor guy couldn’t sleep for three weeks worried he was going to hell.”

The White house refused comment.

 

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